Blah!!!

When I was in college, my room mate, Erin and I came up with a way to deal with our frustrations in life. One of us would sit on the bed with a paper and pencil, and the frustrated one would spout off everything they were frustrated about. We could say anything in the world and the other one would not say a thing, she would only write it down. After the vent was over, the paper would be read by the scribe. Can I tell you, this saves money on therapy, It really works!!! So right now, that is what I'm going to do. I'm going to be my own scribe and just flat out whine and cry for a minute. Here I go.

I'm frustrated because....

I live in a small town.

 I don't think I'm small town material.

I'm a free bird and sometimes I feel so caged.

 I want to go places. 

I want something to do.

 I'm frustrated because it takes weeks, sometimes months to get projects done because I have to drive an hour away to get what I need, and sometimes I don't know what I need. 

Sometimes I wish I could just go to Target after Travis got home from work, and I can't, and that makes me frustrated. 

I'm frustrated because when I have to go to Costco, I have to pack 5 coolers, buy a huge thing of ice and then sweat my guts out loading up all my food so it doesn't get rancid on my drive home.

 I get frustrated because I love frozen berries, and even though I throw the berries on ice, they thaw out on the ride home, and then they are all mushed together and I have to throw the bag on the ground in order to break up the huge clumps of ice berries. 

I'm frustrated because I feel like I'm the only mom in Globe who wants to get out with her kids.

 I feel like I'm so annoying to everyone because I'm always texting people to go to the park or come for a play date, etc. 

It takes a lot of energy and I don't feel like others need it like I do. What do they do all day to not go insane? Am I week because I can't hack it?

I'm frustrated because Jaun Pablo on the Bachelor kisses nasty. 

All you can see is his tongue and hear his lips smacking.

 I really liked him, but now I kind of feel like he is slimy. 

So now I can't decide if I want him to end up with the ho who I don't like very much, or if I want to cheer for a really nice and cute girl to win.

I'm frustrated because Travis has been getting home from work really late lately. 

I really get mad because I don't want to be that family who doesn't sit down and eat dinner together. 

I'm frustrated because I don't have the same mojo I used to have as a mother. 

I don't plan cute and special things as much as I used to.

I'm frustrated because the kitchen timer is going off letting me know the muffins I am cooking are done, but I'm on a role and don't want to stop.

I'm frustrated because all Brooklyn wants to do is pretend. I will make the nastiest messiest slime and play with her, I will do any craft in the world, I will bake the messiest recipe with her, but i HATE pretending. 

She is bossy and won't let me take the pretend play in a direction that makes sense, so I sit there and try to go with it and I have no idea where its going. 

I would rather clean diarrhea off the ground.

I'm frustrated because Avery misses Adelyn so much. She always talks about losing a best friend, and it hurts me.

 She hasn't found a best friend here yet.

I'm frustrated because the scorpions are starting to come out again.

I'm frustrated because I want a yard for my kids to run around in with soft grass and a swing set.

 Our yard is huge, but everything is dead and we have a ton of work to do, but again, it takes forever to get anything done in a small town! And Arizona grass isn't very soft, plus there is the scorpion factor.

I'm frustrated because I'm trying to make my house a home and I don't know what room to do next. So I'm sort of doing all the rooms at once, but that makes it so I'm not doing any of the rooms because I can't get anything done.

I'm anxious because this baby is coming before we know it, and we haven't bought one thing. Her room is nowhere ready and I have no idea what I need.

I'm frustrated because the U.S.A isn't doing that great in the olympics and I don't feel that into it and I miss my regular scheduled programs, which really makes me mad because I never wanted to turn into that person. I usually love events like the olympics.

I'm frustrated because I want my kids to see their dad more. 

I'm frustrated because I finally just got an Iphone and I can't decide if I should save my battery and turn off the Wifi which will suck up my data or if I should keep the Wifi button on all day and sacrifice the battery life during the day.

I'm frustrated because I have the nursery calling at church and I'm so sick of being around children, and I don't feel like I know anyone.

I'm frustrated because I miss the YMCA so bad it hurts. 

I think the small town would be doable if I could only transplant the Parkville YMCA here, I promise I would never ever complain again.

I'm frustrated because I have always wanted to go and get my nursing degree. There is a junior college here that has a program, and its almost too perfect of an opportunity to do it, but I'm feeling mommy guilt thinking about not being around my kids as much. I don't know what to do.

And done.

OK, can I just tell you that that felt great! If you read this, I don't need advice or reassurance. I just needed to vent and now I'm going to move on with my life and still be frustrated but try to make the best out of it. 

Thanks for listening. I miss you Erin (and that it frustrating as well).